Saturday, August 15, 2009

The Wolf and the Coyote

There was a time in my life where people who knew me would have described me as resolute and decisive, quick to form my opinions and stubbornly strong-minded once I chose a direction. I knew what I wanted, and I was clear and deliberate in my efforts to get to my goals. But then I stepped out of the cocoon of my parent's home and ventured into the world. Life took hold of me almost immediately and shook me like a ragdoll in circumstance after circumstance that I could not control. And I was humbled. I was still highly opinionated and still very principled, but I was not nearly as self-confident as I had been in my youth. So entered the next phase of my life ...self-doubt.

I may have had my self-confidence shaken, but my ego and independent streak were intact so I did not allow myself the luxury of not making any decisions ...I simply made them, then reconsidered them, then reconsidered them again and again, until I was satisfied I had played out every scenario and made the best possible decision in every circumstance. Yeoldfurt calls this particular habit of mine 'thinking it to death' and I do believe it was one of the things about me that took him the longest to get used to when we first got married.

I happen to believe that my habit of thinking and re-thinking everything over and over again has saved me (us) from many mistakes over the years. But I also know that, in many instances, it has crippled my ability to make a decision quickly enough for us to take advantage of some good opportunities over the years. That's where Yeoldfurt has been my rescuer.

When I first met Yeoldfurt, he was instinctively the opposite of me in his basic approach to living. He charged at life like a wolf with his eye on a young buck. Sometimes his forge-ahead, consequences-be-damned attitude worked out for him. Other times it caused him a lot of grief and caused a lot of collateral damage to others. But it was all he knew. I guess I was more of a coyote type ...dogged, determined, clever (I like to think) and resourceful ...but ever wary of pitfalls along the way. Sometimes my cautious over-analytical approach worked out to my benefit. But I'm sure it also cost me a lot of opportunities over the years as well.

But, together, Yeoldfurt and I have reached a balance over the years. He has instilled in me a self-confidence that I haven't known since my youth. And I find that the more confidence I have in myself, the more confidence I feel in us. I like to think I've given Yeoldfurt some things too. These days, he listens more patiently than he used to and he's not as quick to assume that a different opinion is necessarily a criticism. I am so grateful for his strength and his decisiveness and I think he has come to appreciate my loyalty and resourcefulness.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Felinae said...

WWRWH~

I think you and YOF are perfect for each other. The love and respect you two have for one another is very evident when you are in the chat room together.

Hugs to you both,
~Felinae~

August 15, 2009 at 6:50 PM  
Blogger YeOldFurt said...

I don't have any disagreement with being compared to a wolf and I'd like to think I've "mellowed" since we've met. You have taught me a lot too and I appreciate it.
YeOldFurt

August 15, 2009 at 6:55 PM  
Blogger erniesjourney said...

Seems like we are a lot alike you and me HB! I over think and ponder and then think some more and Brad just does it. We too have formed a balance and it works for us. He is also my great debater and has made me stronger and allowed me to speak my mind! Good men r hard to find! Great blog HB!

August 16, 2009 at 11:50 PM  

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